This poem stems from some deep-rooted feelings I've had over failed relationships. We all know about them, whether it's with a significant other, our parents, our friends- the list goes on and on. In this particular piece, I've tried to capture the heartbreak that follows when a bond is broken between two souls.
Today I looked at myself in the mirror
All I did was stare
The longing, insecure driven kind
Minutes spent in front of the mirror
Picking apart every blemish, every single insecurity
Until I no longer knew who I was staring at
And it became painstakingly clear
That the girl in the mirror
Forgot just who she was
I don’t know
Or when it happened
The little shift where I ceased to be myself
Sometimes I wonder if it was the day when paths crossed
And lives were interwoven together
Leading me to believe that this was forever
Suddenly I was eager to take care of everyone
To live up as the therapist, as the all-knowing figure
Forgetting that I was still learning
That shouldering all this weight
Wasn’t for me at sixteen
I gave away pieces of myself
To all these no-good vagrants
Who made me feel like sunlight
But in reality, they were impudent
So, I tried as I could
To be the version that you’d love
Holding conversations with a drifting soul
Who didn’t want my attention
I tied myself to those memories
Shutting the voice in my head
That warned me of what’s to come
Emptiness, and tears in my bed
For who could ever blame you
With those pretty eyes and even prettier lies
You’re not the bad guy, just misunderstood
That’s your tale, that’s your excuse
Your defensive when I speak
And admitting to mistakes makes you feel meek
I’d feel sorry for us but I don’t
Because you’ve made one thing clear
I’m a temporary asset
Someone to confide in when you’re alone
And a passing memory isn’t enough
So let’s take a break, you said, a pause
But we both know what that does
It’s a crumbling pizzazz
Today I looked at myself in the mirror
And there was only one thing I could do
I asked myself a question
One that if I were brave enough, I’d ask you
I gave away my heart
Locked it in every word we exchanged
So at the end of the day, I say,
If this version of me wasn’t enough
Just who would you have me be?