Updated: Jul 11
It was either my foot tapping or my nose twitching uncontrollably. If either of those things were to happen, I knew how south the conversation was going to go.
I walk into a room with 2- no 3 people that I’ve never met before and I let myself overthink to an extent where I’m convinced that they already hate me.
The Covid pandemic impacted everyone in a lot of different ways. But who would’ve thought that being away from people for a year would cause me to fear any form of interaction.However, it isn’t just me.
Like me, many people experience that churning feeling in their stomach when they meet someone new. For we never know what anyone else thinks of us. We can never truly know if someone hates us, loves us, or doesn’t have an opinion at all- which, knowing most human beings, is pretty rare.
People often mistake me for being an extroverted person, when in reality , I feel like everyone is watching my every move, and everything I do. The scariest part is, no one knows what you’re going through except you, and living with the weight of your own thoughts, is a lot to keep up with.
Social anxiety is more than just being afraid of new faces, or being an introvert.
Social anxiety is when a teenager isn’t able to live like a teenager. Social anxiety is rethinking every possible word before saying it and then immediately regretting it. Social anxiety is making sure no one is around before being able to relax your shoulders from the overwhelming pressure of maintaining a conversation.
My social anxiety isn’t even close to getting better, and that’s okay, because I’ve surrounded myself with the people who understand and love me (or at least I think) for who I am.
No one with social anxiety has it easy, believe me.
“Just talk bro, don’t make it awkward.”
If only every mentally exhausting issue was that easy to solve. Social anxiety isn’t a very talked about problem, and it’s almost like society assumed we don’t have a voice because we’re too afraid to use it. But we have one, and it’s bursting from the seams and one day, will be ready for the world. So keep an ear out, for the softest, smallest voice in the room. You never know, it may speak the most sense :)