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The Post Office was closed this Wednesday...

Dear oblivious messiah,

As the address suggests you are most likely unaware of your significance in my life. And yet, however incompetent, here is my ode to you. To you, dear benefactor, to whom I am probably too estranged or shy or unimportant or to whom I once was important and to resurrect that prior image would be embarrassing for us both. We would probably squirm with awkwardness at the reminiscence of that erstwhile moment- me, because I am worried that you would think you held this kind of power in my life, and to whom I keep going back to. It is the artist’s curse, you see, to never forget. And to glorify perhaps, the significance of that moment. To taint it with rose-coloured, nay, gilded glasses. How pristine those moments look now. I like to think they were in fact that way. I hope they were.

You, because, well I can’t really speak for you. But I believe you would squirm awkwardly. Or maybe you would look at me strangely or perhaps with impatient surprise. One or two of you might resonate with what I’m saying. But I am too weak to take that risk.

The risk being, that I do not want to tarnish those beautiful moments by adding any more to them. I want to frame them like perfect pictures-high, mighty and untouched. I don’t want to silt over those gilded memories. I want to preserve them as they are. I am afraid that if I ever met you again, that would change.

Because messiah, while preserving you in a still might not be the strongest thing to do, keeping you within till you become putrid is weaker, and unhelpful. What can I say? I am a connoisseur of beauty! I believe they call that an aesthete.

I want to thank you for being in my life. In a way, this ode is to let you out from where you now reside and to frame you upon the wall. I don’t have to hold you anymore, but I am,oh, so grateful for your presence in my life. It’s just that I must move on, to different messiahs now. And I need a little space. So this is like spring cleaning, you see?

But the spring cleaning of all that I love. Because you have been nothing but good. But messiah you are of the past. And neither is it worth conjuring you in the present, for like Audrey Hepburn, you look stunning in black and white!

Thank you for all your advice and for all your love. And all those little ephemeral moments when you showered your blessings and bestowed your invaluable help upon me.

Growing is a curious thing, messiah. It is a little terrifying, but mostly liberating. And a little lonely till one finds their way. But, it is so compelling that it helps you cross over.

But don’t worry, messiah, I won't forget what you have taught me. I’ll be back every now and then to glance at your portrait. And I know that though I frame you on the wall, there is that little elusive essence of you that will always live with me. You did not leave easily, messiah.



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