TW: Discussion of bodies and organs *only one line*
a love letter to my future self.
if i could see you today
if you weren't twenty years away
i know what i would ask; a silent prayer
have we always been this way?
i'd want to ask who you are now
but I don't know if I could go that far
do your tears still stain the pillowcase
do your dreams still get bizzare?
nobody ever really told me
everything would be so hard
now things begin to lose meaning
i'm someone i want to discard
(old shoes, old heart)
and so I'd like to ask you
will it always be this way?
i know times were better
and i hope the future holds the same
i can still think of the sepia
the warm nights, the better days
i don't even know when
i woke up in a bitter haze
i need you to tell me
that somehow, we'll be okay.
I think I'm done for the night
resigned myself to the truth
I'm my own future history
i still look in the mirror for traces of you
there's a big gaping hole where my insides were
I'm hoping that that's healed for you
i hope when you say you're okay you mean it
and i hope you know I love you.
-sanjana
previously published on gen-control-z