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  • Writer's pictureaditi

Do I Look Fat In This?

Updated: Jan 12, 2023

Angry woman on the internet. Types at 2x speed. What is she ranting about today in the comment section of a meme page? Must be one of those over-enthusiastic feminists. Probably had a tough day today and is taking it out on others for no reason.

So, what is the angry, young, Indian woman screaming about today?

Capito-patriarchy. No matter what you are mad about today, it is part of this problem, the bigger problem. Capito-patriarchy is what leads to body shaming, colourism, slut-shaming, prude shaming, and more. . It makes women buy expensive shapewear, which makes women reconsider breastfeeding in public, what makes women rethink before they choose an outfit to wear outside, and what makes women condition what they eat.

We listen to Dangerous Woman by Ariana Grande, and post-independent brown girl quotes on our Instagrams, but are we free? Are we making choices of our own free will and living our lives the way we want to?

Why does my sister spend thousands on diet plans and workout routines and still post quotes about body positivity every day? Why does my mother sympathise with rape victims and yet condition how I dress? Why does my friend choose to go out late every Friday night and yet carry a key in her hand? Why do we pretend to believe in this ideal but are unable to apply it to ourselves? Why are we insecure, unhappy, unsatisfied, not enough?

Capito-patriarchy has made us believe we need more than just face cream; we need primer and colour corrector, foundation, concealer, and whatnot. We cannot stop at a simple T-shirt bra; we need push-ups, lingerie, and non-padded and underwire. It has conditioned us into believing that nothing will ever be enough for us. We will never be enough for ourselves.

Society wants you to be skinny. So, the young Indian woman thanks god that he made her petite and has one meal a day until she becomes size zero like Bebo. Now society wants you to have an hourglass body. So, the young Indian woman switches on her laptop, does Chloe Ting workouts and buys herself a bodycon dress to show off her new body. But hey, what’s that? Now society wants you to be curvaceous and have a body like a female video game character. So the young Indian woman forgets Kendall Jenner and begins to follow Mega Thee Stallion, increases her calorie intake, and wears tighter clothes to flaunt her curves.

But by the time society reaches an apparent body inclusive point, the young Indian woman’s body is giving up. She is confused about what is expected of her, and after trying to be so many things, she doesn’t know who she is anymore. So, now she is angry. She is angry and outraged at how generations and generations of her gender have been mistreated and subjected to all sorts of prejudices. She expresses her hatred and disgust and fights for justice. And that’s how we circle back to the beginning. Angry Indian woman, ranting on the internet, screaming in a place where she can’t be heard.

Capitalism and the patriarchy will tell you that you cannot be heard or seen unless you do what they ask you. But today, I will tell you that you are heard and seen. You are enough, no matter what someone or something is telling you to do, buy, or conform to. The next time you feel like going off in the comment section of a meme page, or giving the creep in the bus a piece of your mind, or asking a man who is telling you what to do to shut up, do it.

Be an angry Indian woman. Be you.

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