From gazing at the starry sky
To sharing a cone of ice cream
From gliding across the skating rink
To surprise karaoke and long drives
From movie nights and sushi
To slow dancing to Ed's
From road trips
To double dates
From Chris Evans
To Shawn Mendes
From Jen Aniston
From Rohit Saraf
To Alia Bhat
& the Notebook
To 16 Candles
Pretty much every single tangent in movies, tv shows and the ideal ‘Fri-yay’ plans revolve around love and its enchanting stories, making you question your life choices , much like everything in the ginormous question mark you just read with those beautiful pupils. Though what hits even harder than fiction, is this ‘magic’ being spread all across your friend circles, making you look like the odd one out. Apparently 7 seconds of heaven and couples selfies on Instagram for every wild ‘adventure’ is supposed to trigger the FOMO and make you ready to mingle. YIKES. As though, enough buttons haven’t been pushed already with the never-ending file of Monday blues, surprise tests, oversleeping and missing the 6 am workouts.
Some cultures demote this practice of dating as unnecessary or distracting, especially to those in their teens who have a tough time being open about their needs/wants of sharing the experience of a special kind of relationship they’ve never had before. But remember, navigating through red flags is just as important of a skill as analytical thinking.
The impulsive jump to enter a relationship is wildly deteriorating and I know that you have seen people around you say that it's something that they can work together with their ‘better half’. But the gaslighting, codependency, and the feeling of being trapped with someone who has uncanny polar perspectives on almost all topics eventually births the baby no one wants: cheating. And this new feeling triggers many others such as anxiety, guilt and heartbreak.
Even if things don’t turn out to be as dramatic as mentioned above and everything seems perfect, they still worry about those missing butterflies. Why aren’t they experiencing it?
It's simply because they have made the classic mistake of conveniently skipping the magic ingredient which concocts the true essence of this recipe of love. Falling in love with yourself.
Super corny, yet simply fundamental. The rush to experience the rush without you giving that rush to yourself. Of course it’s bound to be an Oxytocin Rush Hour Epic Fail.
We aren’t really taught how to love ourselves first and this transcends all cultures. It's either no dating till 30 or look, everyone’s got a gal, hurry kiddo put on your A-game! No one says, “hey have you celebrated your x anniversary of self love?” It definitely is a fine line between narcissism and cherishing the inner you. But like everything else, moderation is the key.
So if you're feeling left out, start by
Taking yourself on a date
A 1-on-1 quite literally
A long walk towards the sunset
A cup of masala chai
Listen to your favorite podcast
Journal your thoughts
Hear yourself out loud
Explore and Decompress
Sleuth on what actually excites you.
Finetune your wavelength before
Tuning in with someone else's'.
After all, you’ll always be lonely if you don’t find yourself first.
By: Harini Anand
From the writer:
Tried my hand at something new and I penned this blog in the format of a letter addressed to myself which I then decided to share with those who might find themselves in the same boat. Hope this helped you and you enjoyed my artsy-emo blog with its fair share of creative directive-expression.
Do share your thoughts in the comments below!