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  • Writer's pictureDisha

Agree to disagree - respecting the LGBTQ+ community

Updated: Jan 12, 2023


image source: pride 2020, New York Times


 

You know how people say “you don’t need to agree with someone’s point of view to respect it”? Actually, I think only parents say that; but that fairly deep-rooted saying goes a long way. Members of the LGBTQ+ community wake up to people hating on them every day because of their sexuality. Just because they don’t fall in the traditional gender norms, doesn’t mean they should be easy targets for discrimination.

This isn’t an article asking you to immediately change your opinion nor is it targeted towards anyone specifically. However, one thing is clear: not supporting a community and blatant disrespect are on two sides of the spectrum. Here are a few things to STOP saying, to make a few more people around you feel valid. After all, it’s the least you could do.


1. Stop saying “that’s so gay” as an insult:

This is probably my most heard phrase of all time. So when does calling someone “gay” stop being an insult? Using it as one may not only hurt your queer friends but will make it harder for those closeted to come out. This sentence is typically used after someone does something that fits into the typical stereotype of what a gay person is “supposed” to do. Calling it offensive is an understatement!


2. Make sure to never misgender anyone:

If someone is out and proud, address them how they want to be addressed because for them, their gender is something they fought hard to accept. Misgendering someone makes them feel a little less valid. You don’t need to stand beside them for every battle they fight; all you need to do is show them that you recognise them for who they are. While cis-gender people may see using the right pronouns as a burden, keep in mind that nobody’s gender is evident from the way they look. Most importantly, being straight isn’t the default choice :)

[Side note: Use they/them if you are unsure of someone’s pronouns.]


3. NEVER say “f*ggot” to anybody:

The f-slur is used as a derogatory term against gay boys or men. Men in our society have always been told “don’t cry” or “stop being so girly.” Why? Our stereotypical idea as to what a man should look, act and dress like is what makes it so hard for a man to come out as gay. When a man finally breaks down the invisible barriers that we’ve built up, subjecting him/them to hate is the last thing they need.


4. *specifically for bisexuals when they’re dating the opposite gender* “So you’re basically straight right?”

I mean- no?? The definition of bisexual is someone who is attracted to both genders. So just because their partner is of the opposite gender, doesn’t mean a switch flips in their brain making them straight again. They still experience sexual attraction to both genders, but choose to be with someone that loves them back. Bisexuality is beautiful, to say the least, and people (typically straight) trying to convince bisexuals that they’re straight does nothing but make them feel worse about coming out.


Appreciating someone for who they are without taking a piece of their identity away from them is a basic necessity for every human being to learn. The LGBTQ+ community already goes through a repetitive cycle of self-doubt and external hostility, which cisgender people (allies or not) have the privilege of never experiencing.


Every single day is a chance for you to celebrate the people who have come out, as well as those who are closeted; so “understand that you will never understand, but still stand.”


 

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Aniket Gupta
Aniket Gupta
Jun 21, 2021

Oh btw I agree with your other points that we should not insult others by calling them a faggot or bullying bisexuals. Those are good points.

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prisha
prisha
Aug 17, 2021
Replying to

you just said a slur, do you realize that?

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Aniket Gupta
Aniket Gupta
Jun 21, 2021

There are many who don't agree that there are more than 2 genders or that you can change your gender. Many don't agree that the best way to classify someone's gender should be purely based on their own self perception instead of sex. That is actually a perfectly valid claim too, the new gender theory was proposed very recently when viewed from a historical lens and it doesn't have any scientific basis. Why should these views not be respected? Why are these people labelled as transphobes or homophobes?


The so called non binary people or the transgender people can believe whatever they want and express their beliefs publicly, that is freedom of speech. But when you are imposing your views…


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prisha
prisha
Aug 17, 2021
Replying to

you don't seem to realize that everything in this world other than natural science is made up. gender is a social construct. i'm sorry if you cannot use correct pronouns for someone, and it does make you transphobic. respecting someone's identity is a bare minimum that one expects from a human being.

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